THE DWIGHT GOODEN POSTER

Flush with the pleasure of knowing that I argued years ago that Erin Andrews ruled the world of sideline reporters (that wasn’t me you saw bouncing from public computer to public computer voting wildly for Andrews over and over again), I am forced to share with you some more predictions for upcoming sports-related events and personalities. While they may not all be the most adventurous predictions, they will become Truth. Big T. Here they come:

1) Psycho T will totally Laettner it in the NBA. Tyler Hansbrough is a fine college basketball player, among the greatest 4-year starters in the history of the NCAA. However, as an undersized big man, he will not be dominant in the NBA. He will be an average small forward who will have to develop a mid-range game, ala Michael Doleac or Matt Harpring. The thing is, though, Harpring and Laettner came in to the league with range. In fact, Laettner is Duke’s all-time percentage leader from three. Seriously. Over 48%. Hansbrough lived inside in the undersized and weak middle of the ACC. So, he has work to do to even be relevant from 15 ft and out. That said, I will give him the benefit of the doubt and say he may be able to match Laettner’s career averages of 13 and 7, if he goes to a bad team. If he goes to a winner, welcome to JJ Reddick Land. **As a quick aside, did everyone see the interview with Laettner in which he said he wants to coach but does not want to be an assistant or anything first? Classic CL. What a champ. Good luck with that.

Erin Andrews gives Psycho T another college highlight.

2) Next year, Tiger will make his 2000 season look like amateur hour.

Woods' smile belies the fact that he is thinking of turning Padraig Harrington's innards into haggis.

This will be the Jordan return syndrome. Remember when Jordan came back from baseball and kind of stunk it up in the playoffs at the end of the 94-95 season? Then he came back the next year to dominate the league and carry his team to 72 wins? Yeah, it will be something like that. Tiger will finish this year strong, despite the fact that he is playing relatively average; right now, he is just finding ways to score. He will probably even win a major or two. He will have a great year. But assuming it will take at least a few months to get back to full domination mode, and seeing as how Tiger adheres to the “Jordan Rules” win-win-win mentality, he will work on his game in the off-season, and, basking in the birth of a new son, he will come out in full predatory mode and destroy the fields in even-better-than-Tiger fashion. The 18 majors will be his by the end of next year.

3) Calp will incur NCAA sanctions of some kind within two years of becoming coach at Kentucky. TDGP has documented our views of Calipari, but his whole appeal is how he has gotten away with all kinds of shady stuff to get his players. That will end under the hot lights and scrutiny of one of the NCAA’s most storied franchises. That’s right– it’s a franchise.

4) We haven’t heard the last of Favre. While I am not sure that Brett will return this season by training camp or the pre-season, I am not convinced that he is totally done.

Favre: down, but not out.

True, this is the longest we have gone in the last three years without some kind of wavering from Brett, but I think he is lurking in the bushes like an old, be-stubbled cat burglar. Teams like Denver could use a one-year replacement while they groom some young draft QB, is all I am saying…

5) Michelle Wie will finally win a tourney.

Michelle Wie is a shoe-in for a victory in her career.

While a few years ago, this would have seemed the least risky predict ever, I think that at this point, it is not assured. However, Wie did finally get her card, and there are enough tourneys for her to finally break through and close one out. She will never reach her “full potential” as defined by the ridiculous expectations of her at 13, but she will have a solid career when it is all said and done. Give her 15 wins and a couple majors.

That’s all for now, but stay tuned to TDGP for future (get it, future?) updates from Nostrapossumus.